Slivered Soul
by Hoshi Angel
Summary: Set in a different time period (in the past), a woman's soul is cut sliver by sliver by those she loved, alone with a child she must come to grips with her life in an everchanging world. Will she ever put the peices back together? Its worth the read... (r
1. Default Chapter

'Sleep.'  
  
'There you are..'  
  
'..'  
  
'He's crying..'  
  
'Hn.'  
  
'Tired? Depressed?'  
  
'You already know how I'm feeling so why even ask?'  
  
'Its just a courtesy, one of us has to be polite about the situation.'  
  
'What situation are you referring to?'  
  
'The entire situation, your health, your mind, and your son'  
  
'.'  
  
'What are you going to do? Are you going to return home? Or stay here in this hellhole and raise your son to be a delinquent on your own? So many questions to answer, yet so litt-'  
  
'Shut up your annoying.'  
  
'These are questions that you have to answer. Shouldn't you check on him? He's still crying, and so tiny. I think he's hungry.'  
  
'I'm getting up. but I want you out of my head.'  
  
'Hn. you say that now. Don't worry I will not say anything else tonight.'  
  
I am evvvvvil this is actually just the introduction to my story. Trust me the chapters are much longer, but I just loooooooove cliffhangers. So can any of you guess who this story is about? 


	2. Painful Memories

Cardwitch thank you for the review!  
  
Disclaimer: In my dreams I own Card Captors X___X SO DON'T WAKE ME!  
  
This carries the same storyline. Li and Sakura are together (insert growl from Meilin) and Meilin with???? (Read to find out) and many of the other CCS characters. HOWEVER, the time the story takes place is after the series and ummm (the series is set in the past by my own demand) I did research the Ming Dynasty so don't blabber to me about 'You made this up' Cuz its true and if you want I can e-mail you the historical agency sites and such I used to research.  
  
With that said read the following and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did writing this chapter.  
  
Chapter 2:  
  
1421 Ming Dynasty  
  
Rulers in this era were cruel to say the least. In one instance the Ming Emperor discovered that his prime minister was scheming behind his back to murder him, the Emperor had the man executed, yet that was not enough and the ministers entire family was executed including all contacts with the family whether they be friend or foe. The Rulers had a tendency to behead anyone who stood in their way. Over 40,000 men and women were executed because of one man. Suicides of women (especially young women) were quite common. Mysterious deaths occurred wreaking havoc on all families whether they were poor or wealthy. This was a brutal era and it affected everyone in China..  
  
'At least the baby is quiet.' Meilin had spent a fretful night caring for the small infant who at the moment was sleeping lazily against her left hip in the cloth sash like carrier. 'Maybe he'll stay asleep for the rest of the day.. That would be nice' Meilin pondered about a day of quiet where she wasn't expected to do anything. Sadly however Meilin upon reaching her destination was snapped out of her train of thought by a familiar shriek.  
  
'Not now.. Not Mai' Meilin felt the joy of her previous thought of quiet wash away to leave an empty pit of acid in her stomach.  
  
"MEILIN!!! You forgot to run my errands this morning! And what about the floor? IT'S NOT CLEAN! You are such a lazy girl!" Mai tapped her foot irritatingly on a patch of grass. She appeared to be trying to feed the chickens however it seemed that the chickens were scared of their owner's mood. Catching her breath Mai continued her verbal assualt"Where were you? Have you even bathed; your skirt is caked with dirt. Seriously Meilin you really shou-"  
  
'Ignore the voice, ignore it and she'll shut up.' Meilin gritted her teeth and made her way to the front door of Mai's home. Hearing footsteps from the rear of the house Meilin knew they belonged to Mai's only child, Chou. Chou's father had died five years ago due to 'mysterious reasons' and Mai and Chou had moved to this small farm to escape possibly the same fate. When Meilin had come here six months ago Chou had been attached to his mothers leg the entire time. Yet through some influence Meilin had purveyed to the child. In any case he became a ball of energy always full of questions that only he confide in Meilin with. Meilin inwardly grinned perhaps he was frightened away from Mai like the chickens were.  
  
"Welcome home Mei!" Chou looked at Meilin's baby "Meilin can I hold Tou?"  
  
Meilin turned around and smiled at Chou. "Sure but first I need you to give this to Mai, she's ummm in one of her moods." Her mind flared with one thought 'tactical error Meilin.' before she had time to hand Chou the bundle of herbs she had collected Mai was standing in the doorway of the house. And Meilin was sure she had heard Meilin's last comment.  
  
"I'm in one of my moods eh? Hmph you try running a household full of delinquents. Its not easy having to constantly remind people to do their chores. Although I guess we could just forget about everything and just sit around until we rot to death." Mai was about to explode when Tou started to cry.  
  
Meilin about fell to the ground in despair 'arggghhh she had to wake the baby up!'  
  
The annoying voice ever present in her mind made its existence known 'Tehhee serves you right for deciding to take a walk in the forest instead of doing your chores'  
  
'Now your in my head again.. How can today get any worse?'  
  
'Well firstly you cou-'  
  
'Be quiet!' Meilin relaxed a bit as the voice remained silent. However Tou's crying broke the silence.  
  
"Meilin will you feed that child to hush it up?!" Mai rubbed her temples "Chou go outside and finish your chores, I don't want Gin to talk to me about you."  
  
Meilin was already sitting down and placing Tou to her ummm breast when Chou exited the small house. She still felt rather uncomfortable about the whole breastfeeding thing but figured it was better then listening to a screaming baby all day. Mai had seemed to calm down a bit and had sat down adjacent to Meilin with a bowl of steamed rice  
  
"Meilin, I expect more from you. I'm not trying to be difficult its just we have to do our tasks to survive. This house will fall apart and then Gin will kick us off his land. No house and no land equal four very hungry beggars. As it is we barely get enough money from doing work for Gin on this hellish farm. Crime, prostitution, murder run amuck here. I sometimes fear for Chou. You should fear for your son as well. Like the other day I saw two boys on my way to market, I went to sell a new batch of salves that sold enough money to pay Gin tomorrow and have some extra money, but anyways the two boys told me that they had been paid to kill a merchant. Needless to say I was shocked. Children being turned into assassins. Such an intolerable act don't you think Meilin?"  
  
Meilin was in the process of swaddling Tou, keeping her eyes on her son she replied to Mai "It is sad, but it's not entirely the children's fault. Look at China. China is infested with those problems"  
  
Meilin felt the voice state a solitary comment and then leave 'China faces more then crime, prostitution, murder.'  
  
Mai finished her rice and motioned to hold Tou. Meilin allowed Mai to hold him as she made her way to her own cold bowl of steamed rice that was supposed to serve as breakfast. Returning she looked at Tou's fluttering eyelids that were defiantly fighting the sleep that would eventually overtake him. Meilin slowly ate her rice while watching her son.  
  
As Tou fell asleep Mai looked at Meilin "Meilin. you have that lost look on your face. Are you alright?"  
  
Meilin set her half bowl of rice down "He looks so much like his fath- umm nothing I'm fine" Meilin looked out the solitary window in the house and watched a cloud pass by.  
  
"Meilin who is Tou's father?" Mai gazed at the passing cloud and remained silent. The question floated in the still room and Meilin responded when she felt that she was about to suffocate.  
  
"Mai please do not ask me that. I.." Meilin stood "I promise to do my share of chores today and tomorrow along with yours tomorrow. That is if you'll watch Tou until I return. I need to think, please Mai I'll return before noon" Meilin was so placid with the question that Mai thought it best to let the young woman do whatever she did when she was in this mood.  
  
Mai shrugged "Fine just don't get into trouble. And you better do my chores, plus I'll have you go pay Gen his money. Then perhaps you could beat out the mats." Mai stood with Tou on her chest; the infant's head was lying in the nook on Mai's neck. Mai looked very much the part of a nurturing mother. Meilin wondered if she looked like that when she held Chou.  
  
Smoothing out a wisp of hair on Tou's forehead Mai whispered, "I'll be making the medicine that you'll be taking to market tomorrow. I'm sure Tou will stay asleep for the majority of the time and then I'll take him with me to th-" Mai realized Meilin was gone and grumbled under her breath about Meilin being rude.  
  
Meilin walked along the same path she walked this morning. She noticed the subtle changes of the shadows along the path thanks to the later part of the morning. Meilin however deterred on her path and followed a narrower and more rugged untraveled path that led to a small clearing. It was here that Meilin, when in one of her 'moods', or so said Mai would retreat to in order to 'calm' her inner spirit.  
  
'Mad are we?' whispered a rather irritating voice, or so thought Meilin.  
  
Meilin groaned out loud and frowned 'No I'm quite fine thank you.'  
  
'You know its not your fault. It wa-'  
  
'If you say his name, then I'll be mad'  
  
'Feh, Meilin if you keep this bottled up all it will do is fester inside you until your spirit explodes with anger. You'll be a cold bitter person'  
  
Meilin walked to the center of the clearing where she stretched her body. 'My spirit is fine. I just have to focus'  
  
'Your acting foolish, admit your problems to Mai, if not for yourself then for your son'  
  
With a few punches in the air Meilin hissed at the voice inside her head 'Do not speak of my son! My past will not effect him, he's going to grow up and become a great man both in spirit and body!'  
  
Laughing ringed in Meilin's ears 'And when he asks you who is his father? If he has any family? What if he asks about his ancestors what will you say'  
  
Meilin pretended that the air was the voice and released a whirlwind kick 'I'll tell him that his father was a great man, someone who died long ago to protect us. Like Chou's father. And as for his ancestors I'll tell him they were great men and women.'  
  
'What if he should posses magic? What then? How will he learn to control it? What if he wishes to visit his ancestors' shrine? Are you prepared to answer those questions as well?'  
  
With a few more punches Meilin warned the voice 'He WILL not posses magic. I never did-'  
  
'But his father possess an extremely high level of magic ability. After all he is-'  
  
'I know who he is but I haven't sensed anything from Tou. Not a trace of magic, he'll be no different magic wise then Chou is.' Meilin pretended to kick the voice again.  
  
'That doesn't mean its not hidden in his spirit, you know as well as I do that some of the strongest Tarot Mages in your family didn't discover they had magic talents until the age of five. So your belief of Tou not having magic is rather flawed don't you agree?'  
  
Meilin released some more anger through a few more kicks and punches before responding. 'I hate you, what do you expect me to do tell my son that his father betrayed me? That he forsake me as well as his child? Should I tell him I disgraced his family? That I was the only child born without any magic? That to his family I'm just a worthless bargaining piece for a treaty with a lord, who if I would of married him, would of slit my sons throat or have him live the life of a bastard? No I will not put my troubles on him, he'll face enough as it is. He has no father to teach him what men must learn from their fathers, I alone can't provide a roof over his head and he might go hungry. No at least if we're poor he will have a humble life, he'll be a good man.'  
  
'And what if he chooses to become a hired assassin like those boys in the street? Hmm? What then will you forsake him and not even try to make peace with his and your soul? Besides you didn't tell his father you were with child. You could of told Tou's father you were with child. Perhaps he would of allowed you to become a second wife? Or at least have a decent house with a stable income provided.'  
  
'And then what? Be stuck with people all around me feeling sad or ashamed of poor Meilin? A woman who dishonored herself even more by sleeping with a man she was never married to? I couldn't do that. Tou would be labeled a bastard in my family; he would be turned into some foot soldier, to be treated as cannon fader! They would label Tou as expendable. You know that my family believes in fate, what would they declare Tou's fate to be? Whatever the case I do not believe in fate. My fate according to the elders didn't occur. And according to them fate is a constant that never changes.'  
  
'Fate cannot be changed but it can perhaps work in mysterious ways that in the end achieve the same effect'  
  
Meilin realized she was standing still, her legs felt rooted into the ground. She merely stood there and closed her eyes. A cool breeze had worked its way through the dense forest walls of the clearing and whipped at her face and braid. Meilin had the urge to unravel the braid and let her hair down but decided against it.  
  
'Did you change your hairstyle because of him Meilin?'  
  
Meilin didn't respond. She didn't want to, so many thoughts, so many problems, so many worries. Meilin fell to the ground and wept. The voice in her mind went silent, yet before it left she thought for a second that it had told her that all would be good in the end. Meilin let out an ironic laugh. She continued to laugh however it was wreaked with sobs. Meilin wondered if she was going mad and looked up at what appeared to be the noonday sun. Feeling anger well up in her entire being she allowed one indulgent comment to pacify her anger. "DAMN YOU LI!"  
  
Thank you, for reading this fic. If you want please leave a review. Sorry for the cliff hanger but things will get cleared up in the next chapter.  
  
Sincerely, Hoshi Angel ^______^ 


End file.
